Written by Deb del Villar, Director of Communications
In this day of gender confusion and up-front activism against what we know to be true about biblical sexuality and holiness, how should we respond? When our grandchildren are bombarded daily with views that go against God’s beautiful design, what can we do to help them?
Let’s consider five things we can do as Christians who desire to please and honor our Lord first and foremost while also loving others.
1. Build a Strong Foundation on God’s Word
Focus your attention on helping to build a strong foundation of belief that God’s Word is Truth! In other words, come alongside parents supporting the building of a biblical worldview in your grandchildren. They must know and understand God’s view on gender and sexuality.
A biblical worldview means you believe that the Bible is God’s infallible Word and is entirely true. Therefore, it becomes your plumb line for what you think, say, and do. It governs how you live. It is the foundation for how and what you build your life upon.
Teach your grandchildren God’s Word naturally throughout your time with them. Point out times you have gone to God’s Word to help decide on what to do. Make God’s Word not a separate part but a complete part of who you are.
Truth Must Become Their Foundation
When our home was being built, the first thing they did was to lay a strong, sturdy, level foundation. Knowing it was the base upon which all the future building would rest, it was done with extreme attentiveness and precision, with lots of inspections along the way.
As the critical support for your home’s structural integrity, it is essential that the foundation be done correctly. In most homes. 4-6 inches of concrete is poured into molds, reinforced with steel rods and anchor bolts, along with secure footings. The concrete is allowed to set or cure before the forms are removed. This base needs to be durable, leading to the stability of the structure. If these steps are not done well, over time, cracks will appear, things will shift, and gaps in doors and floors may surface.
Consider Biblical worldview development in this light. If we do not lay a strong, firm foundation of God’s Word and its veracity in our grandchildren’s hearts, cracks, shifting, and gaps could appear in their beliefs about God and His Word. We desire them to stay rooted in Scripture. We do need to make inspections along the way. How are they doing? Are there areas that need shoring up?
We need to help our grandchildren see that God’s Word has remained true since the beginning and it always will. It will not change due to cultural issues of the day. Truth is Truth – always has been and always will be! Matthew 24:35 says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.”
We need to help them see that building their lives on God’s Word is the best way. They can count on God and His Word, no matter what. Deuteronomy 4:10 speaks of teaching, where teaching means to train, with the implication of putting it into use. Even in the area of sexuality, we need to train them so they live it out in their lives.
We need to help them stand for biblical ideals when those around them crack or shift. God’s Word is clear about truth: “Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit.” (Proverbs 12:17) “The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever.” (Psalm 119:160)
Teach God’s Design Clearly
Here are a couple of truths regarding Biblical sexuality:
- God created humans – male and female. (Genesis 1:27; 2:7; 22-25)
- Sexual intimacy is intended within the context of marriage. (Genesis 2:24; Hebrews 13:4)
- Marriage is intended as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman for life. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
- We are called to flee all other sexual temptations as dangerous. (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Ephesians 5:3; Galatians 5:19; 1 Corinthians 7:2)
2. Respond with Grace and Respect
While we seek to know God’s truth from the Bible, may we not forget to balance it with love, grace, and mercy. May our hearts be molded and modeled after God’s own heart.
I don’t know about you, but the form around my heart is still not ready to be removed— it is not cured yet into the form of God’s. Often, I still react out of the flesh and not the Spirit.
Speak Truth with Love
“Tolerance” is one of those words that brings so much strife today. I like one definition I saw that defined tolerance as “being respectful, remembering that we are all created in God’s image and therefore have inherent dignity and value.”
This definition emphasizes respecting another’s right to think and believe as they choose, delineating that line between the person and belief. It allows you to show love and tolerance while not compromising what you believe. It is not a call to divorce objective truth or be tolerant of false and unsound ideas.
This is a hard balancing act because the lines seem blurred between loving others and supporting an unbiblical lifestyle. Therefore, it is a chance to be guided by thoughtfulness, to be Spirit-filled and led. We can love those around us while maintaining conviction and without compromising or sacrificing God’s truth.
Prepare for Difficult Conversations
Your grandchildren may ask some tough, uncomfortable questions during times like Pride Month as they navigate the cultural messages displayed on merchandise, commercials, social media, parades, and so forth.
Ask thoughtful questions:
- “What do you think about that?”
- “How does that compare with what God says?”
- “Why do you think culture believes that?”
Are you ready to respond with the fruit of the Spirit, or will you shut down the conversation before it starts? Let’s be prepared with Truth shared in Love so we can make a lasting positive influence on our grandchildren. May we reflect Christ well, leading with courage and compassion.
3. Be a Light in the Darkness
When I was in the Philippines on a mission trip, one of the leaders wisely shared that we cannot meet every need that we were seeing. But we could do something – each one of us could do something! He called it ‘punching holes in darkness.’
Live What You Believe
Grandparent, we can be a beacon of truth, shining the way. May we help light the path, following God’s ways, so it is easy for the grandchildren to follow. May we not put barriers or obstacles in their way, but instead reveal the barriers and obstacles so they do not stumble, fall, or leave God’s path.
Jeremiah 6:16 states: “Thus says the Lord: ‘Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it and find rest for your souls.’ But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’”
May we be beacons pointing the way to the ancient paths, and may our grandchildren choose to follow them. These ancient paths are not old-fashioned, outdated, or obsolete. They are indeed the good way where rest for your souls is found.
Live your life in a way that draws others to Jesus and not away from Him. Be an example of an authentic follower of Jesus who not only loves the Lord but also loves others. Shine your light so others see Jesus! Be a living example of someone who is ‘in’ the world but not ‘of’ the world.
Model God’s Design in Everyday Life
One last thought: model God’s design for sex, marriage, and family within your own home. Evaluate what you are doing – is anything detracting from what you say? What are the shows, music, and sites you frequent?
Grandchildren benefit from seeing healthy marriages, loving family relationships, forgiveness, faithfulness, and spiritual consistency modeled before them.
Evaluate what influences fill your home:
- Television
- Music
- Social media
- Online content
- Conversations
Do these choices support the biblical truths you are teaching?
4. Be a Courageous Witness to Truth
Our grandchildren do not only need our example; they need our spoken words. 2 Timothy 2:21 shares, “he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.”
Let us be set apart and useful to the Lord during this season of our lives. We need to be vessels of honor that pour out the refreshing truth to those who are interested.
Help Grandchildren Think Biblically
In this age of chaos and confusion, be a clear, clarion voice that is consistent and Christ-like. As you speak with your grandchildren, help them process and think through what they are hearing and seeing by comparing it to what they know is true and honoring to God.
Challenge them to think through what is truly loving to someone. Assist them to walk in truth and grace without alienating their friends or diluting Scripture. As you help them walk through, you will be showing them how to do the same with their friends.
Studies by Pew Research (2020 and 2014) show that unmarried evangelicals between the ages of 18 and 29 are very progressive in areas of sexuality. These progressive views are fracturing the individuals who embrace them.
Be willing to have those hard conversations with the older grandchildren. With parental approval, make sure your grandchildren know they are welcome to discuss any topic with you.
Be Ready to Give an Answer
We need to be ready to give an answer. “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” (1 Peter 3:15).
Allow your grandchildren to experience how you interact with people who believe differently from you. It could be how you respond to a commercial, a store display, a TV show character, a song, or a social media post. Do you use these as opportunities to show God’s heart while also witnessing to the truth? Do they see only condemnation and distaste toward those who have lost their way?
It is important to be clear about ideas and assumptions that you cannot condone, compromise, or celebrate. Remember that going against God’s Word is not a conflict with you but with God.
Help your grandchildren to see, whether others choose to follow the Lord and His Word, your desire is that they always will. Sin (all sin) is to be mourned over and not celebrated. Sin will lead to God’s judgment with severe consequences if not confessed.
Assist them in knowing how to respond, explaining what they believe and why, to those who ask about their views. Arm your grandchildren so they can not only stand firm but also encourage others to be wise and follow the Lord too! “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17)
5. Cover Everything in Prayer
Before a home is ever built, hours are spent on plans followed by preparations. Numerous questions are asked and answered before the first drawing is ever drafted. Ask yourself:
- What kind of faith do I hope my grandchildren have in 10 years?
- What spiritual qualities do I pray will define their lives?
- What intentional steps can I take now?
Consider your answers, then develop an intentional plan to do those things that have the highest potential to see the finished product.
One of those crucial things is prayer. In fact, nothing could be more important! Cover your grandparenting in prayer continuously.
What is a cultural issue today could be replaced by a new one in just a few days. Focus on spiritual things that last forever, for eternity. To yield spiritual fruit, the work must be done in the Spirit. So I ask God to fill you with His Spirit so you can influence purposefully and effectively your grandchildren for Him.
Pray for Eternal Things
Pray for your grandchildren to:
- Love God deeply
- Stand firmly in truth
- Walk in holiness
- Develop wisdom and discernment
- Experience conviction of sin
- Extend grace to others
- Remain faithful throughout life
Trust God with the Results
Biblical sexuality stems from eternal holiness. Eternal holiness flourishes from a heart sold out to God. A heart sold out for God flows into a life of obedience, living in light of a biblical worldview.
No matter what challenges our grandchildren and great-grandchildren face, if they are firmly founded upon God and His Word, they can stand strong and not collapse into rubble. They can witness to a world that so desperately needs the truth given in love.
Conclusion
Grandparenting in today’s culture may feel challenging, but this generation desperately needs older believers who will lovingly point them toward Christ.
So let us walk in step with the Spirit, the compassion of Christ, and the Word of God as we seek to live out authentic lives in front of our families.
