Written by Deb del Villar, Director of Communications
When I looked into the role and significance of grandfathers, this stat surprised me. Approximately 70% of children report feeling a strong bond with their grandfathers.
Yet, when I think back to my two grandfathers, that is not my experience. I am part of the 30%, and in fact, I felt almost no bond to my grandfathers, while I felt strongly attached to my grandmothers. We spent untold hours in the kitchen cooking, weeding the garden, or walking on the beach.
Learning from Two Different Grandfather Experiences
Now fast forward to my children with my dad. While my dad did not have a father who showed by example how to be a grandfather, he seemed to know what to do. In fact, many times I was jealous of the time my children had with my father. He would sit on the floor and play games with them. He would tell family stories that I had never heard. He would buy items needed to go shark tooth hunting, a favorite pastime during visits.
As I wondered at this ‘new dad’ I was witnessing, I realized he was being a father to them – a grand father. Things he was never able to do while I was young, he was doing with my children. My dad had a demanding, time-consuming job that took him by train from the suburbs to the city every week. He had long days of long commutes and even longer days of intense meetings and impactful decisions.
What was at first a source of sadness became a source of joy to see! He not only paid attention to the grandchildren and played with them, but he was also gentle and patient with them.
Additionally, I am blessed to see how my husband, Ken, grandfathers our grandchildren. Being greatly impacted by Legacy Coalition over the last ten years, I have observed the difference a godly perspective on grandfathering can make. Ken was always a good grandfather, but now he is an intentional and influential grandfather.
Below are three main observations that would be good for any grandfather to consider when desiring to influence their grandchildren.
What a Godly Grandfather Says
Sharing Your Testimony with the Next Generation
Ken, my husband, shared his salvation story with each of the grandchildren. They have heard it so often that they can probably tell it by heart. Ken shares how he was brought up in a family that did not make religion an important part of their life. Past religious experiences had hurt his parents deeply, so they avoided them. But God… had a plan and purpose for his life. God pursued him through various people and in various ways. Ken loves telling the story of how God intervened and saved him.
Speaking God’s Faithfulness Across the Years
Yet, his story doesn’t end with salvation. It was just the beginning of a lifelong relationship that is still growing today. Ken continues to take the young adult grandkids out for meals to check in and share more of his spiritual journey. He shares how God’s promises become more real with each decade of life. Ken shares that God will be with you no matter what—that God can be counted on.
Mentoring Grandchildren Through Life’s Decisions
We pray regularly that God will use these special times of mentorship to help our grandkids make wise decisions. A godly grandfather lives a life of integrity and faith.
What a Godly Grandfather Does
There are times when words are not enough and action must follow those words.
Following the Example of Grandfather Jacob
In Great Lessons and Grand Blessings, Elmer L. and Ruth Towns share what Jacob did for his grandsons, Ephraim and Manasseh.
“When Israel saw Joseph’s sons, he said, ‘Who are these?’ 9 Joseph said to his father, ‘They are my sons, whom God has given me here.’ And he said, ‘Bring them to me, please, that I may bless them.’ 10 Now the eyes of Israel were dim with age, so that he could not see. So Joseph brought them near him, and he kissed them and embraced them. (Genesis 48:8-10)
Reinforcing Words with Actions
Grandfather Jacob blessed these two grandsons as well as kissed and hugged them. We need to remember that these two grandsons were part Egyptian as well as Hebrew. By his actions, Grandfather Jacob was saying that he claimed them as his grandsons. Regardless of how they came to be part of the family, a godly grandfather will do all he can to make sure that all the grandchildren feel loved and desired.
Previously in Genesis 48:5, Jacob had said, “And now your two sons, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, are mine; Ephraim and Manasseh shall be mine, as Reuben and Simeon are.” He had spoken the words “are mine.” Powerful words that became even more real as he acted upon them. A godly grandfather will reinforce the spoken word with exemplary actions. He showed that these grandsons were his.
Jacob not only says the words and backs them up with a blessing, kiss, and hug. He also “stretched out his right hand and laid it on the head of Ephraim, who was the younger, and his left hand on the head of Manasseh, crossing his hands (for Manasseh was the firstborn).” (Genesis 48:14) This is a touching illustration of the spoken blessing going directly from Jacob’s heart into the lives of the grandsons. There is power in touch. A godly grandfather provides healthy touch.
But Joseph protested… “And Joseph said to his father, ‘Not this way, my father; since this one is the firstborn, put your right hand on his head.’ 19 But his father refused and said, ‘I know, my son, I know. He also shall become a people, and he also shall be great. Nevertheless, his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his offspring shall become a multitude[d] of nations.’” (Genesis 48:18-19) A godly grandfather follows the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Practical Ways Grandfathers Can Show Up
Have you ever spoken the Levitical Blessing over your grandchildren?
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)
It is powerful!
A godly grandfather not only blesses his grandchildren but also prays for them. Here is a sample prayer from Harvey, a friend of Legacy Coalition, concerning a college-age prodigal you may have in your family. It is based on Psalm 62:5 (NLT) “Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.”
Father God, I specifically pray for myself (or the person closest to (Name) in this season of waiting. This time is emotionally exhausting. I realized I’ve been carrying a weight that isn’t mine to bear—the anxiety about (Name)’s eternal state, the impossible burden of being the “spiritual anchor”. Please help me release the pressure to fix or force a change. Remind me constantly that my faith is anchored only in Your perfection, not in my performance as a caregiver or intercessor. When despair creeps in, assure me that Your love is the secure, safe refuge for me, too. Fill me with the rest and renewal that can only come from You. Help me see the evidence of Your work, even in the “still, small voice” moments, so I don’t feel entirely alone in this family crisis. I choose to rest in the truth that You are working, regardless of the visible outcome. In the trustworthy name of Christ, Amen.
Find more helpful prayers and prayer resources from our Grand Ideas here. Legacy Coalition also has a Prayers for My Grandchildren Desk Pad and Let’s Pray Cards.
Here are a couple more practical examples of action:
- Show up to church, school, or sports events – be their biggest cheerleader.
- Partner with parents in their role – come alongside and support.
- Be available to listen – take time.
A godly grandfather is actively involved in his grandchildren’s lives.
What a Godly Grandfather Gives
Giving More Than an Inheritance
Oftentimes, when we think of what to give our grandchildren, it seems to encompass heirlooms or inheritance. It is around things and money. If you are like me, you have had to help empty out a parent’s home. This can be such a difficult task.
Leaving a Testament of Faith
As we sifted through mounds of paper and closets of stuff, we shared memories. We spoke of a time when people did a last will and testament. Now, it just seems to be a will. What has happened to the testament- the story of your beliefs and convictions? The testament represents your legacy or statement of faith – what you believe and what you desire for your children and grandchildren.
Providing Identity, Belonging, and Security
It speaks to the past, giving those left behind strong identity and belonging to your family. Whether they were part of your family tree or grafted in, make sure all your family knows how much they are part of it. A godly grandfather gives a strong sense of security and identity.
Blessing Future Generations
The testament of faith speaks about the future, as you share what your hopes and dreams are for them. Including these in a prayer to God would be a powerful way to speak life into the future. A godly grandfather looks into the future, blessing the generations he knows as well as those not yet born. He imparts hope and trust in a sovereign, loving God who can be counted on.
It shows in the present what is most important to you. As a godly grandfather, you desire your grandchildren to know, love, and serve the Lord Jesus Christ all their days. Therefore, the condition of their heart lies heavy on your heart. A godly grandfather presents the gospel – so his grandchildren know he desires to spend eternity with them.
Conclusion
As a godly grandfather, you serve as a role model for those who come behind you. As you provide emotional support and stability within your family structure, you are helping build a foundation and framework for others to follow.
As you say, do, and give that which will foster strong family bonds, keep a perspective of eternity. Your steady presence and unending stream of love, wisdom, and support will strengthen your grandchildren for a future you will not see.
To sum it up, a godly grandfather gives of himself to his grandchildren.
Editor’s Note: For more grandfathering information, listen to our Legacy Grandparenting Podcast and check out the episode “Run less, Grandpa More: A Conversation with Bill Breakey.” Also, read blog posts for grandfathers here.
