Part One: Understanding Today’s Search for Significance
by Deb del Villar
Where Do Your Adult Grandchildren Find Their Significance?
Why Identity Looks Different for Today’s Young Adults
As I thought about the word significance, two questions kept coming to mind. First, I noticed how differently my teenage, college-age, and young adult grandchildren spend their time. In other words, what captures and keeps their attention? Significance is the quality of being worthy of attention. Meaning is woven into the word as well. It’s the quality or character that makes something important, something worth spending time on.
My second question was whether this generation looks for significance in different places than my generation did. I already knew they did different things, but were they also looking for something else? As I observed and researched, the answer became clear: yes. While each generation does seek meaning and identity, the sources of significance can vary dramatically from one to another. In fact, one of the biggest shifts between today’s grandparents and today’s young adults is this area. Let’s take a couple moments to look at where many of us (grandparents) found our significance. Think back to your teen and college age and see if this resonates true with your experience.
Where Many Grandparents Found Their Sense of Worth
Family Identity
The primary source of significance for many of us was family. It was often rooted in our family name, reputation, our role/position within the family, and finally marriage and parenthood. Family name and reputation were important. I can remember my grandparents asking Ken and me when we were getting married. Then, once we were married, the next question quickly followed was when are you going to have children. All of these experiences pointed to one underlying message “I matter because I belong to my family.”
Work and Career
The next source of identity came from a person’s job. Loyalty to your job led to longevity at your job. Conversations often began with, what do you do? Where do you work? How long have you been there? My father worked for the same company until he retired. I worked for over 23 years for one employer than nearly another 25 years for another. The only reason I left the first employer was because we moved. Our son-in-laws have had many employers, leaving jobs for better positions and conditions. I look at sports teams – ten of our 14 grandchildren are boys – and players do not stay with teams. Our grands watch and support players over teams. I still have the teams I support that I started watching with my dad. I’ve always rooted for the team more than individual players.
Do you find yourself asking those same work questions of your older grandchildren? You might be surprised at the alternative questions you should be asking.
The central message here is “I matter because I contribute and provide.”
Community Involvement and Institutions
Our generation found meaning through our involvement in church, civic organizations, neighborhoods, and even service clubs. Which organizations come to mind? I was involved in Church Youth Group and Girl Scouting. My affiliation and participation brought belonging and identity. This sense of being part of something bigger than myself resonates as the core message.
Faith and Religious Identity
The essence of this message is “I matter because I am created by God and belong to Him.” A larger percentage of Americans in our generation attended church regularly, identifying with a religious tradition. This belief shaped the values, morality, purpose, and community in which they lived. For many of us, our faith provided a firm foundation. Absolute truth was the basis from which we operated.
Duty and Responsibility
Our generation emphasized commitment, sacrifice, responsibility, and perseverance. The seriousness of these values led us to fulfill obligations. Today’s young adults often feel comfortable changing plans when another opportunity seems more valuable. The central message says, “I matter because I am dependable and needed.”
Where Young Adults Search for Significance Today
While the above is true for many of the 60+ age grandparents, let’s look at how this compares to the average young adult today. It is critical to understand their generation if you are going to influence them. As the 60+ generation had five main areas where identity and worth were often derived, so does this group. Pay close attention to what you have experienced as you interacted with your adult grands. See if it lines up and helps you consider alternate ways to interact. Understanding where your grandchildren look for significance can help you better understand how to influence them spiritually.
Digital Identity and Social Media Validation
Number one should not be a surprise. We have all witnessed the digital explosion. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat have become places where your adult grands ask the overarching question “Do others notice me?” Within that question are Am I seen? Am I liked? Do I matter? Am I interesting? Likes, followers, views, and comments become easy measurements of acceptance and worth. But before we move on to the next area, ask yourself these questions as well. If we are not careful, we can get caught up too. How does this compare to where we got our view of self.
Achievement and Performance
Think back to when you went for your first job interview. If you were like me, it was in person. Today, often they start online with a paper application so consider what the adult grandchildren feel pressured to include in their resumes so they will stand out among other applicants. A couple of the items are academic success, college acceptance, career accomplishments, athletic achievements, and leadership positions. Often their identity becomes closely tied to their performance. It becomes about what I do instead of who I am. The underlying message shouts, “I matter if I succeed.” How could that interfere with sharing the gospel with your adult grands?
Personal Authenticity and Self-Expression
Today’s culture often encourages young adults to define truth and identity for themselves. Their identity is self-directed and centered on personal experience. Starts with self and therefore centers around personal feelings, individual desires, self-definition, and personal truth. The message that rings clear is “I matter if I can become my true self.”
Relationship and Belonging
Loneliness is a major issue within this age group. While they are digitally connected with lots of others, they feel alone. Social media is not actually social but only media. Arlene Pellicane shared at the National Grandparenting Summit 2026, while social media was a race for attention, AI (artificial intelligence) will be a race for attachment. AI can provide information and even simulate companionship, but it can never replace genuine relationships or the God who created us for community. As grandparents we can help with both the loneliness issue and the artificial issue. Be involved in your grandchildren’s lives. We can gently point our grandchildren to God’s truth as the ultimate foundation for wisdom and identity.
This age group deeply desires acceptance, community, and friend groups as well as romantic relationships. They want to belong, be connected. Arlene also shared this alarming statistic, that in 2025 the top use of AI was for friendship and companionship. It was an easy step from texting a friend to talking to AI. Grandparents, let’s wake up and get involved. We need to understand and interact in ways that will speak best to them.
Causes and Social Impact
These young adults may seem to have values that may differ from ours yet number five on their list is the belief that their life matters – they matter – if they change the world. They want to make a difference! This is so important to focus on and build on.
They are interested and invested in social justice causes, environmental concerns, political activism, and community advocacy. These issues are important to them as they desire to make a difference and leave an impact. These issues can also be a sore point and bring up confrontations with grandparents. Be careful what you decide and how you decide to debate these issues. Maybe consider asking them why they are so passionate about the issues and what they hope to accomplish. It might surprise you that there is common ground between you. Ask thoughtful questions before offering your opinion. Listening first often opens the door for meaningful conversations about faith.
Coming Next: A Biblical View of True Significance
In Part Two, we’ll place these two lists side by side and discover why this comparison matters so much. More importantly, we’ll explore what Scripture says about true significance and how grandparents can lovingly point adult grandchildren toward an identity rooted in Christ. I’ll also share practical ideas and trusted resources to help you disciple the next generation with wisdom, grace, and hope.
