How Do I Say “I Love You” – Let Me Count the Ways

Written by Deb del Villar, Director of Communications

Two favorite quotes about grandchildren are:

• “Side by side or miles apart, grandchildren are always close to the heart.”
• “Grandchildren fill a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.”

There is no question that WE love our grandchildren deeply and completely for all of time. But are THEY sure of it?

You may be surprised at how many children question their parents’ and grandparents’ love. Nearly 40% of U.S. children lack strong emotional bonds with their parents. New research conducted by National Rail revealed that a whopping 70% of grandchildren begin to lose their all-important connection with their grandparents by the time they turn 16. ^[1]

So, do your grandchildren know how much you love them? Let’s look at some ways to help the answer be a resounding “YES!”

Factors to Consider First

There are lots of ways to say “I love you” to your grandchildren, but keep these factors in mind as you think of ideas.

Remember the age and interests of your grandchild. If your grandchild is 4, the kind of card you send would be very different than if he or she were 14.

If you know their love language, this will assist and point you in the direction of what will say love to them. If quality time is their language, choose something to do together. Words of affirmation would guide you to write or say something to them. (Reference the book 5 Love Languages of Children)

Whether you see them regularly or live at a distance will also guide you in your decision. Look over the list of ideas and see how you can tailor them for your grandkids that live at a distance.

Another thing to consider is if your grandchildren are auditory, visual, or hands-on kind of kids. If they’re auditory, you might want to send a greeting by MarcoPolo. If they’re visual, you could send a prayer text.

One of our grandchildren shows her friends a prayer page I made for her several years ago. This makes me think words speak to her in a powerful way. Another does not even mention his prayer page but often comes over to chat. Just being together means so much to him. Several of our grandsons love to help load the trash then ride with grandad to the convenience center. (We live in the country so no trash pick-up). Usually, grandad adds in a trip to the ice cream store on the way home. This special time affords the extra blessing of individual time with different grandchildren each week.

We encourage you to find special ways to show and speak love to each grandchild.

List of Ideas

Keep your grandchildren in mind and pick a few of the below ideas. While most of these ideas center on Valentine’s Day, focus on saying it often, at unexpected times, and in lots of ways.

• Make your own conversation hearts. You could make valentine hearts with words of affirmation or a special word/phrase to give to a grandchild or place on their bedroom door. If you live at a distance, you could send them ahead of time for your adult child to add for you. Consider character traits or actions you love about them. Or they could say “I Love you because…”
• Send something in the mail to them. It could be a card complete with a personal affirmation about them or a love note to them. Enclose stickers, a bookmark, or photos as well. Gift cards are great for the older grandkids.
• Spend time together. Don’t schedule out the time completely; allow the Holy spirit to guide you as you enjoy your grandchild.
  • Take your grandchild on a date night, and it can be as formal as you like. Listen to your grandchild and get to know them better.
  • Use our Let’s Talk Cards: Holiday Edition and ask the Valentine’s Day ones. They are a great way to share traditions and family stories as well as get conversations going.
  • Watch a movie and eat heart shaped snacks.
  • Read a book together and sip on hot chocolate. 
• Don’t be afraid to tell them you love them. Hide secret messages around your home for the grandchild to find. They could be activities you can do while they are visiting or things you love about them. Hide notes in balloons.
• Celebrate with a “Jesus Loves You and So Do I” party for younger grandchildren. Or for the older grandkids, you could do a donut breakfast. “Donut you know how much I love you?”
• Support what they are involved in. Help with school projects and attend school events.
• Give high fives, fist pumps, or hugs. If the grandchild lives at a distance, send a hug in the mail (Pinterest has directions for making one). Go for a walk holding hands.
• Share a joke a week. This can be done by phone call, MarcoPolo, or text.
• Give a gift. You can make a special treat and deliver it (maybe even in a heart shape). Use our Grandchild Promise Cards and include the grandchild’s name. These are great to tuck inside a Valentine’s Day card, attach to small gift, or place on a pillow or inside a lunch box.

Conclusion

Seek to be generous with love and affirmation, whether it is February (the month of love) or not.

Loving unconditionally is a continual, daily opportunity and blessing to represent God’s love. We love because God first loved us. It’s also a good reminder that one of the best ways to love a grandchild is to love their parents. Children remember what they see and what they feel, so show deep love for your family.