Written by Deb del Villar, Director of Communications
As you prepare for Christmas, maybe your mind wanders to a Norman Rockwell painting or a Hallmark movie. Reminiscing about holidays with tables laden down with delicious food, each seat filled with family or laughing children and grandchildren sitting around the fireplace or singing around the piano, can bring back great joy or sorrow. It can be hard to see that perfect rendition not come to fruition, or if it was reality in the past and may not be true this year.
This holiday season may mean not being with family due to distance and your inability to travel. It could be health issues that warrant staying close to home and away from crowds. Heartbreaking relational issues could also be the reason that you will be separated from loved ones this year. So, what can you do to be present with loved ones even if you are not able to celebrate physically with them?
We will start with our heart’s posture, then share some ideas for things to do long distance.
Look to Your Anchor
As a grandparent, you could be seen as the anchor for your family. You offer stability, security, constancy, and assurance no matter what may come. While it is good that they can count on you, teach them to look to God as their anchor. As you are anchored in Him, God will show you how to minister to your family even at a distance. Is your heart anchored in the Lord?
An anchor works by digging in deeper when the winds and waves put pressure on the anchor’s chain. The anchor secures the boat to the bed of the water, preventing it from drifting due to wind or current. Thereby ensuring the positional stability of the boat. How deep is your heart anchored?
If this Christmas season has brought gusty winds and overwhelming waves, be anchored in God. Share with the grandchildren how you trust in the Lord. How you look to His Word and all the many blessings and promises that keep you from drifting from His truth. There are many currents and winds of change blowing across our grandchildren’s lives, so teach them to anchor deeply into God.
This starts with them putting their faith in God. Find ways to share that God the Father sent His Son, Jesus, to be the Savior of the World [1 John 4:14]. Help them see that you put your full dependence and confidence in the Lord, just like a large ship trusts its anchor. No matter what comes, the anchor keeps the ship positionally stable. Placing our faith in Jesus Christ will also keep us positionally safe no matter what comes. Are you living out this truth before your grandchildren?
Look to Your Lifeline
The lifeline is the link between the sailor and the boat. It is the attachment point of the harness lanyard used when moving about the deck. Therefore, it must be accessible, practical, and solid. In a way, the lifeline is watching over, protecting the sailor’s life, allowing him to stay connected even as he moves around the deck. Oftentimes, the lifeline will come built into the life jacket. The lifeline must be in good condition and properly attached at each end to a sufficiently strong connection, while the life jacket must be properly fitted.
Additionally, lifelines are installed around the entire edges of a boat, serving as a barrier to protect and prevent sailors from falling overboard. They become crucial during rough conditions of strong winds and heavy waves. The sailor connects his lifeline to the lifelines installed around the perimeter of the boat.
That picture of lifelines reminds me of 1 John 4:15, “Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he is in God.” God is that lifeline that abides in those who believe. We attach ourselves to Him.
While this is important every day, it becomes intensely critical when going through life’s struggles. Remember, He is the same God – the one who abides in you – that caused the wind and the waves to stop when Jesus said, “Peace, be still.” Maybe today you need to rely on that promise. God indeed brings peace during a storm. He is our lifeline that is accessible, strong, and solid.
Look At What You Can Do
Instead of thinking about all you cannot do, let’s focus on things you can do. You can truly be present with them even if physically absent. Being present with someone means making a conscious effort to engage in meaningful ways. It entails setting aside distractions and focusing on the moment- on the grandchild. It leads to deeper connections in relationships as you purposefully and fully engage mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It considers the idea of being content and thankful where you are and with what you are able to do.
Here are some of my favorites, along with many shared with me by others, of things to do with grandchildren, even if you are at a distance. Be sure to check out Wayne Rice’s book Long Distance Grandparenting for more ideas.
- Let your grandchildren know you are praying for them if they are performing in a school or church Christmas pageant or concert. Be sure to follow up with a phone call to see how things went. If someone can record it, then you can watch it together with them later.
- Send a box of age-appropriate goodies for them to enjoy over the holidays. Examples could be hot chocolate packets, marshmallows, and a Christmas DVD. You could watch the same movie and call later to talk about it. The box could also contain craft items for the children to put together, from coloring pages to more elaborate crafts. Using technology, they could show you later what they did.
- Schedule a time to connect via technology and read them the Christmas story. Each night, you could read a portion as they get ready for bed. Then pray with them. You could also use an app like Marco Polo.
- Send a bag of Hershey’s Kisses and Hugs. Include instructions that a ‘kiss’ and a ‘hug’ are to be given to your grandchild each day, with the message that the kiss and hug come from grandpa and grandma with love!
- Flat grandpa or grandma – send a photo cut out of you to the grandchildren. Encourage them to take you along on their Christmas adventures and celebrations. Maybe they can even take a photo and share it with you. The older grandkids may want to journal about flat grandpa and grandma adventures. You could also do the same with photos of the grandkids, taking them with you.
- Send an Advent Christmas activity box. Decide if you want to send 24 or 12 items/activities. Think through some of the things you would do with them if you were together. Make a list with instructions for the grandchild to do each day. One idea could be a nativity scavenger hunt. Purchase and include a child-safe nativity set. Each day a piece is hidden for the grandchild to find and add to their set. If you choose a book, purchase two. You could then read the book to the grandchild while they hold their book. Be creative by thinking of their ages and interests.
- Send a Christmas greeting card to each grandchild. Increase the fun by using a blank puzzle and writing your own personal message on it. Take the puzzle apart and place it in an envelope. It is a good idea to include all the greetings for one family in one larger envelope to avoid them arriving on different days.
- Share a family Christmas tradition. If the grandchildren are older, consider purchasing an item so they can continue the tradition when they leave home. Some examples are an Advent wreath, Jesse Tree ornaments, or a nativity set.
- If you have older grandchildren, call them to discuss what service project or ministry need they could meet. Try to choose one that you both can be involved in, even if in different locations. Samaritan’s Purse or Angel Tree are two examples.
- Research and share Christmas traditions from your ethnic heritage with your grandchildren. Teach them a carol or Merry Christmas in your native tongue. Send ingredients for a favorite Christmas food along with the recipe. By way of video chat, make the recipe together.
- Create and send an Advent calendar with ideas for them to do each day. Fill it with things you can participate in even at a distance. An example would be for you both to draw or write a reason why you love Jesus so much. I have written my ideas on a calendar template I printed off the internet. It could be a scripture passage to read, a question to answer, a song to sing, or a memory to share. For older grandkids, you could try to see how many names of God you can find. Get together using technology to share.
- Choose a day to wear your ugly Christmas sweaters. Take photos and share with each other.
- Send them a Christmas joke or riddle a day by text, Marco Polo, or another cell phone message app. See how many they can guess.
- Start a story and send it by email to your grandchild. Allow them to add the next part and send it back to you. Continue for as long as you like. Consider printing it out and having it put into book form.
- Join them on Christmas Day via technology. If you send presents, watch them open them.
If you cannot communicate with your grandchildren due to relational constraints, consider journaling what you would want them to know about you, your heritage, and especially about God. Each year, add to this journal – who knows what God might do in the future. Include photos as well as your prayers for them.
Keep telling God about your hopes and prayers for them.
