Written by Dr. Joannie DeBrito, Family Support Specialist
In Part 1 of this blog, I talked about the history of Autism (now referred to as Autism Spectrum Disorder-ASD), provided some statistics and other data, discussed how to recognize behaviors and tendencies that may indicate ASD, and provided some information about the diagnosis.
Now, I would like to talk about how grandparents can help their children and grandchildren when a grandchild has been diagnosed with ASD.
Helping A Grandchild Diagnosed With ASD
You’ve heard me say it before. Helping a grandchild starts with helping his or her parents, your children. So, the first tip I have for those of you who have a grandchild with ASD is to talk with your child and his or her spouse about the suggestions I have listed below and collaborate with them to create practices in their home and your home that are followed consistently by both of you.
Your intentional efforts to work with your children to provide an environment that feels safe and manageable for your grandchild can significantly contribute to his or her progress in treatment.
Provide structure for your grandchild – Children with ASD need to know what to expect in the daily schedule so try to stick to the same schedule each day.
Limit the clutter in your home – Children with ASD often get confused by clutter, so reducing or eliminating clutter in your home can be helpful.
Use few words – Children with ASD generally respond best to instructions given with very few words and explanations that are literal, rather than stated as metaphors and analogies.
Minimize sensory overload – Bright colors, busy patterns, loud noises, and strong smells can be disturbing to children with ASD, so limit these in your home.
Be predictable – Unexpected reactions, situations, or events are troubling to most children with ASD. so try to stick to established routines.
Minimize changes – It is often difficult for children with ASD to adjust to changes, so try to avoid them. If a change is necessary, take time to prepare the child for the change and assure his or her safety and your support.
Teach social skills whenever possible – Incorporate the teaching of basic social skills into your everyday lives and remember that you will likely have to repeat the teaching of skills many times before they are learned.
Get used to flapping, spinning, rocking, and pacing behaviors – Children with ASD participate in repetitive behaviors to reduce anxiety, cope with emotions, and cope with sensory cues. It is best not to try to stop those behaviors unless you have been advised to do so by the child’s treatment team.
Limit choices – Children with ASD can become overwhelmed if given too many choices, so try to stick to just two or three choices at a time.
Provide time and space for self-regulation – As children with ASD get treatment, they begin to learn skills for coping with their anxiety and emotions. Giving them time and a safe place to cope can be very helpful.
Point out personal strengths – All children with ASD have strengths, so it is important to acknowledge those and give them opportunities to show and use their strengths.
Taking Care of Yourself and Your Family
Parenting and grandparenting children with ASD can be very challenging and may require a lot of extra time to help them develop skills to be able to meet their personal goals. Therefore, parents and grandparents need support to help them cope with the exhaustion and frustration that are a normal part of assisting a child with ASD.
Attention to self-care is vitally important, so eating well, staying hydrated, getting daily exercise, and getting plenty of sleep are essential.
Furthermore, parents and grandparents need respite from caring for a child with ASD, so you can help one another by establishing schedules for each of you to have respite. You can also look to other friends and family members who might be able to provide respite for a day or two or maybe a weekend.
Also, encourage your children to work with qualified professionals to develop realistic expectations for your grandchild with ASD. While children on the mildly affected end of the ASD scale may be able to improve to the degree that people around them will not even notice that they have ASD, children who fall on the severely affected end of the scale may make gains that only their family members will notice.
Here is an article that talks about several successful people known or presumed to be on the ASD scale: History’s 30 Most Famous People with Autism.
Regardless of where your grandchild falls on the ASD scale, every improvement or achievement should be celebrated. Good support from parents and grandparents significantly impacts a child’s progress and ability to make successful gains in treatment.
Also, remember that researchers are discovering new things about ASD regularly, so it may just be a matter of time before a new treatment is discovered to lead to significant improvements in the health of all people with ASD. Pray for that!
Conclusion
As with any disability, there are often more questions than answers, and that can lead us to feel hopeless. If that is how you are feeling about your child with ASD, I offer this prayer to you from Romans 15:13:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
