Grown Grandchildren Behaving Differently With Friends Around

Question:

What should I do when my grown grandchildren bring friends to see them and it creates a wedge between us? When the friends are present, my grandchildren make smart-alecky remarks, but they will act normal again when the friends leave.

Response:

This sounds like a frustrating situation.

If your grandchildren are still young adults, you might want to consult with their parents to hear their suggestions for how to approach your grandchildren.

If they are even older, I encourage you to talk with your grandchildren directly about your concerns involving their friends and also request that you spend time alone with your grandchildren, without their friends present.

You can let them know that you value your time with them so much that you would like to have their undivided attention.

2 thoughts on “Grown Grandchildren Behaving Differently With Friends Around”

  1. I disagree with shutting friends out. I feel the grandparents are well within their rights to call attention to how the GK’s are taking and acting toward them and asking them to respect you with their tone of voice. It’s easy enough to say “You don’t speak to me that way when it is just us, so why are you speaking to me like this when your friends are around?”

  2. Jean, I wasn’t suggesting that friends be shut out, but rather that grandparents talk privately with their grandchildren about how they act when their friends are around. Also, spending time alone without friends present is a good way to build a deeper relationship with grandchildren. I like the fact that you suggested that grandparents ask a question instead of making a statement. This is a great way to get kids thinking about how their behavior affects others. Thanks for your input.

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