Question:
We have a grandchild who is 15 months old and has missed several milestones in development. He is in PT and trying to catch up but has not been able to do so as of yet. We may eventually be learning of a long-term issue and diagnosis.
My heart is broken, but I know I must be strong in the Lord and helpful and joyful. Our grandchild is so adorable and easy to love. I am praying for wisdom as to how we can be supportive and helpful. Any advice is appreciated.
Response:
I am sorry to hear that your grandchild is experiencing delays in his development. It’s hard, as a grandparent, to be with a sweet grandchild that you love so much and recognize that he is not developing normally.
The good news is that he is getting help now because early intervention is the key to helping a child with any sort of delay, disability, or yet-to-be-discovered diagnosis. Remember that each child is unique, so it is possible that he is taking in all he is learning in PT, and one day, he will show you what he has learned.
I have worked with many children with delays who did not appear to be making progress but just took a little longer than usual to demonstrate gains in development. As I followed those young children into their preschool and early elementary years of school, I noticed that they were timider by nature and were hesitant to try new skills until they were sure that they would succeed.
Since you don’t know if that is the case for your grandchild or if he may have a condition that will significantly affect his development throughout life, I encourage you to continue to pray for progress.
Also, take the time to recognize the many things that you love about him. Help his parents do the same thing and help them resist the pull to become overly burdened by problems that may never materialize. Your grandchild needs positive people in his life to love him and encourage him. He needs to see your joy for having him in your life and feel your unconditional love.
If he does receive a diagnosis later, you will all need to give yourselves time to grieve, adjust, and learn how to love him as he is. There will be many people to help you along the way as well as professionals to help your grandchild reach his full potential.
Parents and grandparents who respond well to the diagnosis of a child’s disability and fully value the gift God has given them frequently report two things. First, they honestly acknowledge the sadness and pain they feel while coping with the loss of dreams they had for the child and the exhaustion of doing all of the extra work that is required to care for the child. Second, they typically come to see gifts in their child that don’t exist in other children and recognize that God has blessed their child or grandchild in some extraordinary ways. They embrace the child with gratitude and begin to learn a “new normal” that is unique to him or her.
Reach out to friends or others in your community who have walked this road well, and you will find grace and empathy for your concerns along with encouragement for your soul.
