Question:
My daughter and her husband have left the Christian faith and they insist on us not praying with their children or playing Christian music in their presence. I feel like I betray my faith when I don’t pray. It’s just part of who I am. Is it ok for me to pray with them when they are at my home or play music in my car?
Response:
While this can be heartbreaking for grandparents, the goal is to keep the relationship with your children and grandchildren going well in order to be able to continue to be a part of their lives. Therefore, it is important to respect your daughter’s requests.
However, this should not discourage you from praying for your children and grandchildren and talking with them about your experience with God and the Lord. Nobody can control what you share about your life or keep you from answering questions honestly, from your perspective.
So, while you should refrain from praying with your grandchildren and playing Christian music around them, you have the right to continue to share how your faith informs and contributes to your life.
As they ask questions about challenges in life, you can talk to your grandchildren about how you cope by turning to scripture, praying, or going to church.
I don’t recall my grandparents lecturing me about Christianity or trying to force a decision of faith on me. I do, however, remember listening to their stories of God’s influence on their lives and observing how they managed life. I noticed that they had a sense of peace and fulfillment that I didn’t see in many other people.
8 thoughts on “Being Told to Not Pray or Play Christian Music With Grandchild”
I would speak to my daughter and son-in-law. I would tell them that they have every right to make the rules for their home and that I will respect those boundaries. In the same vein, you have a right to live according your values and be yourself when in your home, and they should respect that. They do not have a right to dictate what music you listen to in your home, Healthy relationships include respecting one another and each person’s boundaries.
Always good to keep in mind that each family has their own dynamics. May God give you wisdom in moving forward in a way that allows for continued relationship while still sharing your faith.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Yes, every family is unique and prayer for wisdom would be really helpful.
Dr. Joannie
Yes, respect of boundaries is very important in these situations.
Dr. Joannie
Yes, respect of boundaries is important in these situations.
Dr. Joannie
Thank you for your answer to this question. It will help me handle situations differently than I have been.
You’re welcome! We all need to make adjustments at times, for the good of our families.
Dr. Joannie
This is a difficult situation but could be an opportunity for spiritual conversations with your grown children. If you don’t already know the answer, perhaps a good question to ask might be, “Could you share with me why you are so opposed to prayer and Christian music?” First, strive to understanding their position and the heart of their concerns. (Be ready for potentially uncomfortable answers.) Then, carefully and prayfully consider other questions that could unpack their hang-ups and help them reconsider what appears to be a broken relationship with God. Reserve sharing your thoughts and feeling until they ask. (That may be the tough part and could take time to get there.)