Blog Article

Are You Estranged from Your Grandchildren?

I recently received an email from a grandmother who asked me to pray with her because she was estranged from her granddaughter. Her heart was broken, and she was having a very difficult time dealing with the situation–not an uncommon experience for  many grandparents today.

In the mid-life of our lives, it’s perfectly normal to look forward to becoming grandparents. There are few things more exciting than the birth of  our first grandchild. In fact, the birth of every grandchild is an amazing and joyous moment. Unfortunately, there are also many grandparents with broken hearts because they are estranged from their children and grandchildren.

Negative emotions are one of the consequences of being estranged from your grandchildren. Sorting out those feelings and developing an approach for dealing with them is vital for your health, both mental and physical. On the one hand, anguish is a constant companion when you find yourself estranged from those precious grandchildren you love so deeply. On the other hand, you are better able to understand a tiny bit of what our Heavenly Father feels about all those who are separated  from Him.

However, God is still answering prayers, even if it is not on our timetable. So, we ask God for patience to wait until He is ready to answer. Sometimes we have to wait in His waiting room while He is working in the hearts of our grandchildren and their parents. God’s timing is always best. Do you believe that?

I have found the passage in Romans 8:26-28 very helpful when I don’t know how to pray for my grandchildren and their parents. Paul writes, “The Holy Spirit makes intercession for us when we don’t know how to pray.” When I ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for me according to God’s will, it keeps me from telling God how to answer my prayer, which I am prone to do. Ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for your estrangement, and let Him carry the burden instead of you. Let go of your agenda and ask Him to show you His.

Here are two suggestions for estranged grandparents:

  1. Don’t give up. Keep trying to gently stay in touch. Send cards and letters to your grandchildren keeping the tone of any communication loving, but light.
  2. Pray intentionally and regularly for your grandchildren and their parents. If you don’t know how to pray for them, I invite you to sign up for my weekly prayer blog. When you sign up I will send you 31 Scriptures to Pray for your Grandchildren which you may download and print for free.

Prayer

Dear Father, I pray You will give estranged grandparents wisdom to know how to face their separation from their grandchildren.  I pray Your Holy Spirit will make intercession for them trusting You to carry out Your agenda in Your timing for their healing. Encourage them and give them peace as they intentionally pray and patiently wait for the parents to allow them to be a part of their lives again.

In Jesus’ name. Amen

11 thoughts on “Are You Estranged from Your Grandchildren?”

  1. I haven’t seen my adult grandson for almost two years and only heard his voice once. I have tried to contact him but he won’t respond. I am going crazy. My heart is broken and nothing I have attempted has resulted in communication.

    I feel so helpless and useless as a human being, I love the Lord but am having trouble accepting my grandson has gone out of my life. I miss him terribly. At least the boy I once knew. He is my only grandchild.

  2. VIDA LOPICCOLO TANNER

    My daughter is holding my grandchildren against me its going on four years, My 18 year old grandson said he no longer considers me a grandparent, and my 17 year old granddaughter has mentioned to me that I blew it as a grandparent, and my youngest who is now 13 was told that I had passed away. I helped raise these children who lived with me for 3 years while their parents were unemployed I help put a roof over their heads and cloths on their backs and food on their table, while my daughter in return pick up something against me and has decided that I am no longer welcome to mingle with her family. I really need prayers especially during the holidays. I cant stop from crying and the depression is overwhelming

    1. Vida, I hope this is better, now. My daughter has been doing the same thing for about 10 months now. Her and my grandsons lived with me for 8 years – most of the youngest’s life. They are 12 and 10. She does not want me to even know her baby who is now 1. I can certainly feel for you. I think the best thing we can do is pray for them… know the enemy is truly at work, but will not win. I text them every week or two… and text my daughter every now and then and ask if I can see them. It’s usually “no”, but yesterday she said they could spend next weekend with me. If she follows through with that, I will see… I have a friend whose daughter has been doing the same thing for the past 4 or 5 years. They say they are followers of Christ, and I do not understand it – other than we are not fighting flesh and blood… praying for you and them.

  3. My grandsons turns 21 this Tuesday. I’m struggling on if I should try & reach out one more time. He lives with our estranged son. It’s been 7 years. I miss them. I’ve forgiven them & myself.

  4. Thank you for your encouraging words. May God continue to work in and through you. I am sorry this response is so late. It was just sent on to me. May God mend relationships and restore strong family unit once more.

  5. I just learned about this website and am so grateful for it. The stories in this blog here are very heartbreaking.
    My daughter died 15 years ago of cancer and I had a very close relationship with my son-in-law and grandsons who were in
    grade school at the time. Eventually my son-in-law remarried and his new wife gradually turned my grandsons away from me. Now as adults, I have found, they have turned on her. I continue to text them and try to call them with no response. I found out in a round-about-way) that the oldest is now engaged. No one called me to let me know. Yes my heart breaks, but I still believe in the words ‘….but God’. He is faithful and I know He is still in the ‘business’ of restoring broken relationships.

    1. Legacy Coalition Blog Team

      Yes He is! Praying for God to work in ways that only He can. May you see reconciliation.

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